The Legend
of
Chewy Sunset
by Cloyd Campfire
(2000 A.D.)
~ 1 ~
Chewy Sunset come floatin'
out of a desert mirage
riding Spanky,
his old faithful mule ~
They topped the rise
with
one drop left
of fuel ~
And glided down into those
coastal lands
of Star Trek dreams
and computer folly ~
Where they landed on
the edge of
Imperial Beach,
by golly...
~ 2 ~
Now Chewy was stoked full
of
desert
know-how ~
Taught him by a seductive
white widow who'd been
a Papago's wife on the Rez
for 20 years some-how ~
She had taught Chewy without
saying a word
She schooled him
with just her eyes ~
Blue
like
desert
skies ~
For graduation
she
kicked him out of
the little Sonoran Desert town ~
So here he was with a
new mission in life
that
he found ~
Under
a
rock
on the beach ~
His new mission was to support
the City Council of IB with all
that a blonde desert goddess
had done teach ~
With
her
magic
eyes ~
Beneath them
distant
stretched out
desert skies...
~ 3 ~
But first Chewy
had to
sell
poor faithful Spanky ~
Which made
them
both
thorn-pricking cranky ~
'Cuz it was
un-
lawful
in Californeee ~
For the old
beast
to
be ~
A-
live
&
free ~
Without a smog device
crippling
his
fragile dignity ~
Chew sold Spank
for just enough
to buy
a candy bar ~
Heart-
y
har!
har!
So to the
City Council Meeting
afoot
Chewy Sunset wearily went ~
A homeless man
with-
out
one cent...
~ 4 ~
An aura of concern
glowed
around
the Mayor's head ~
"Thrift stores & tatoo parlors
should
be
banned," she said ~
The City Manager, with
his forehead
ablush with
a thought, speedily replied ~
"If we invoke
'eminent domain'
we can get national retailers
to perhaps reside" ~
"To attract them here
it should be illegal to have
unkept yards," a Council Lady
did duly say ~
"And cars that do not run,"
another said, "must
all be
towed away!"
"Yes!" exclaimed the Mayor
halo-ed
in the verily verily bright
flourescent ceiling light ~
"We must increase the
city revenue and
all of this
seems to be quite right!"
The City Attorney woke-up
and drawled, "I'll make sure
there's no
incriminating legal faction" ~
The City Manager added,
"And I'll
come back
with hyper formal action!"
"Great!" said 'de Mayor ~ & all 'de
City Council smile benignly at
little crowd in
IB City Hall gov'ment room ~
But all the City Council
could see were the eyes of Chewy
Sunset glaring back a
deep desert glooooooom...
~ 5 ~
Some of the folks agreed
with their local gov'ment's
proposals ~ and
some did not ~
Some of them voiced their
intelligent opinions ~ and
some were
exceptionally hot ~
But it was the eyes of
Chewy Sunset
that the City Council
could not ignore ~
The old boy's eyes
did not blink or move
they just
bore n' bore ~
Into the very souls of
the local gov'ment people
sittin' on
the platform up front ~
Sittin' there like helpless
prey
in a merciless
hunt ~
'Til they felt themselves falling
down a rabbit hole
like the one
Alice had once fallen down ~
A hole full of Indian spirits
and dust devils
spinnin' and
spinnin' around...
~ 6 ~
Finally the City Council
ended up
so mixed up
in the head ~
The Mayor
in a
hollow voice
she said ~
"Let's drain the ocean
make it
into a
desert instead" ~
The only
male Council Member
tilted
his head ~
And said, "We'll beach an
aircraft carrier ~ make it
into a pueblo
for the homeless" ~
"I'll look into the
legalities," drawled
the City Attorney
in a voice that was toneless ~
The pretty City Clerk who
was wearing
a neck brace
this historical night ~
Added in a voice
that was
far
away and light ~
"Let's outlaw cars that run
and turn cars that don't
into plant pots
for native shrubs" ~
"Bravo!" cried a
Council Member who
had already been planting
roses in old bath tubs ~
"Then we won't need
traffic lights ~ especially
those
that are red" ~
And yours truly
refuses to report
all else
that was said...
~ 7 ~
Chewy blinked and
left early
feeling like one of
the walking dead ~
He'd meant to support
the heros & heroines on the
City Council but made
fools out of them instead ~
More or less like the gal
in the desert
had done to him
with her stunning eyes ~
He sadly trudged away
below the
dark & accusing
California skies...
~ 8 ~
However, there might
be a moral
here ~ yes, I be-
lieve it's true ~
If you keep an eye
on your Local Gov'ment
it just might
perform for you.
###
Imperial Beach, California
top photo:
Is this the Lone Ranger? Is it Clayton Moore? Or is it Chewy Sunset?