The Legend

of

Chewy Sunset


by Cloyd Campfire

(2000 A.D.)



~ 1 ~

Chewy Sunset come floatin'

out of a desert mirage

riding Spanky,

    his old faithful mule ~


They topped the rise

with

one drop left

   of fuel ~


And glided down into those

coastal lands

of Star Trek dreams

   and computer folly ~


Where they landed on

the edge of

Imperial Beach,

    by golly...



~ 2 ~

Now Chewy was stoked full

of

desert

    know-how ~


Taught him by a seductive

white widow who'd been

a Papago's wife on the Rez

    for 20 years some-how ~


She had taught Chewy without

saying a word

She schooled him

   with just her eyes ~


Blue

like

desert

     skies ~


For graduation

she

kicked him out of

    the little Sonoran Desert town ~


So here he was with a

new mission in life

that

   he found ~


Under

a

rock

   on the beach ~


His new mission was to support

the City Council of IB with all

that a blonde desert goddess

had done teach ~


With

her

magic

   eyes ~


Beneath them

distant

stretched out

    desert skies...



~ 3 ~

But first Chewy

had to

sell

    poor faithful Spanky ~


Which made

them

both

     thorn-pricking cranky ~


'Cuz it was

un-

lawful

   in Californeee ~


For the old

beast

to

    be ~


A-

live

&

    free ~


Without a smog device

crippling

his

    fragile dignity ~


Chew sold Spank

for just enough

to buy

    a candy bar ~


 Heart-

y

 har!

 har!


So to the

City Council Meeting

afoot

   Chewy Sunset wearily went ~


A homeless man

with-

out

    one cent...



~ 4 ~

An aura of concern

glowed

around

    the Mayor's head ~


"Thrift stores & tatoo parlors

should

be

    banned," she said ~


The City Manager, with

his forehead

ablush with

    a thought, speedily replied ~


"If we invoke

'eminent domain'

we can get national retailers

    to perhaps reside" ~


"To attract them here

it should be illegal to have

unkept yards," a Council Lady

   did duly say ~


"And cars that do not run,"

another said, "must

all be

towed away!"


"Yes!" exclaimed the Mayor

halo-ed

in the verily verily bright

    flourescent ceiling light ~


"We must increase the

city revenue and

all of this

  seems to be quite right!"


The City Attorney woke-up

and drawled, "I'll make sure

there's no

    incriminating legal faction" ~


The City Manager added,

"And I'll

come back

  with hyper formal action!"


"Great!" said 'de Mayor ~ & all 'de

City Council smile benignly at

little crowd in

    IB  City Hall gov'ment room ~


But all the City Council

could see were the eyes of Chewy

Sunset glaring back a

   deep desert glooooooom...



~ 5 ~

Some of the folks agreed

with their local gov'ment's

proposals ~ and

   some did not ~

 

Some of them voiced their

intelligent opinions ~ and

some were

   exceptionally hot ~


But it was the eyes of

Chewy Sunset

that the City Council

   could not ignore ~


The old boy's eyes

did not blink or move

they just

   bore n' bore ~


Into the very souls of

the local gov'ment people

sittin' on

   the platform up front ~


Sittin' there like helpless

prey

in a merciless

   hunt ~


'Til they felt themselves falling

down a rabbit hole

like the one

Alice had once fallen down ~


A hole full of Indian spirits

and dust devils

spinnin' and

   spinnin' around...




 ~ 6 ~

Finally the City Council

ended up

so mixed up

   in the head ~

 

The Mayor

in a

hollow voice

    she said ~

 

"Let's drain the ocean

make it

into a

     desert instead" ~

 

The only

male Council Member

tilted

    his head ~

 

And said, "We'll beach an

aircraft carrier ~ make it

into a pueblo

    for the homeless" ~

 

"I'll look into the

legalities," drawled

the City Attorney

    in a voice that was toneless ~

 

The pretty City Clerk who

was wearing

a neck brace

   this historical night ~

 

Added in a voice

that was

far

    away and light ~

 

"Let's outlaw cars that run

and turn cars that don't

into plant pots

    for native shrubs" ~

 

"Bravo!" cried a

Council Member who

had already been planting

    roses in old bath tubs ~

 

"Then we won't need

traffic lights ~ especially

those

     that are red" ~

 

And yours truly

refuses to report

all else

    that was said...

 

 

~ 7 ~

Chewy blinked and

left early

feeling like one of

the walking dead ~


He'd meant to support

the heros & heroines on the

City Council but made

fools out of them instead ~


More or less like the gal

in the desert

had done to him

with her stunning eyes ~


He sadly trudged away

below the

dark & accusing

   California skies...


~ 8 ~

However, there might

be a moral

here ~ yes, I be-

lieve it's true ~


If you keep an eye

on your Local Gov'ment

it just might

perform for you.


###


Imperial Beach, California


top photo:

Is this the Lone Ranger?  Is it Clayton Moore?  Or is it Chewy Sunset?